Me

Me
So happy

Saturday, December 7, 2013

I nearly forgot

Original stream of consciousness poem-written on 12-6-13. thanks for reading!!

Love,
I saw you in hallways,
And nearly forgot
To make that motion
-Memento-
 Teeth-bit and turned around.
Darling,
I move too fast
And pass the little things-
Like the rain,
God,
Like the rain;
Did you notice?
The sky wept tears
For Mandela,
But also of
-Joy-
 Rebirth-
Of the never-ending, twice-risen-
Rock-rolling
Elation-
The kind that can't
Stay dead.

Blüme,
You are beautiful-
My heart is bountiful,
And I just can't help
-Thinking-
That your smile would look
-Lovely-
Lying next to mine.
Well, sometimes looks
 Speak louder than words,
And sometimes grand songs
Sulk to silent places-
Pantomiming nothing.
I just want to sing with loud letters
Forming your name,
Just want to let the deluge
Flood the sewers and fill the streets,
Culling, cathartic-
Yet, your eyes.
That look,
Resembling...
I remember...
Red weddings
-And-
Remarkably:
Renaissance.

Monday, November 4, 2013

The Source

This original poem is based on a conversation I had with a severely schizophrenic individual a few days back.  This individual thought that a world-wide conspiracy targeted him and his family-and that it was his duty to take them down! Hope you enjoy!

The source-
It has to go-
They
Have
To
Go.
Too long-they've schemed-
Hammer meeting metal,
Too many have come-
Horsemen engorged.
They tread lightly up-on
Superfluous words lapped languidly
 -From-
Forked tongues,
-Faceless-
The revolving hoard
Declared war-
 They peeled back
-Innocent-
Her nubile skull,
-Drilled that chip-
Clenched, blood-drained fist-
Murmuring their names,
As the sanguine-sun-set
Up-on dream-less streets-
Praying to God,
To give me

The
Strength...
To
Kill
Them
All.





***Original poem written by R. Cameron Morgan. Copyright 2013. All Rights reserved.***


Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Phoenix

As always, this is an original poem (wrote it tonight!) Hope you enjoy!



In love
With the silken contours of shadows of slumbered
Sunlight upon somnolent valleys;
Entranced by
The carefree breeze as it rattles eager trees
Limbs out-stretched to bountiful life-
Blessings-brilliantly-born 
In the womb of munificent present.
It is then that I see the truth,
Naked, opal snow on monastery-peak,
Nictitating eyes of atheist nature;
An atomic resurrection;
Phoenix moments set aflame
On the cross of troubled thoughts-
Only to rise again-
From the ashes of a setting sun.







***Copyright 2013. R. Cameron Morgan. All Rights Reserved.***

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Halloween

This is an original poem that I drafted tonight. This will be one of many Halloween-themed poems! Enjoy!

Tis the one night a year, I can see my beloved
Guided by halogen stars-
 Beaming dead smiles,
Sighs and screams fill the alleyways-
And ghastly ships sail un-tethered from sepulcher bays,
Lit only by eldritch moon-rays-
Spotlighting the empty graves
As the restless dead roam un-moored
And lurk beneath the creaking floor-boards-
To feast upon the unlucky-living-lot-
It is then I see my beloved.

She appears,
Corpse-pale in the shaded grove,
-Virulent tears-
Nightshade blooms wherever she goes,
Ghastly,
As every man knows,
Who has ever
 Felt the shudder
 Of a Zephyr flutter-
Of drapes on a windless day;
A shiver,
And she is known to me.





***Copyright 2013. R. Cameron Morgan. All Rights Reserved***

Sunday, September 22, 2013

To my Daughter (original poem)

Here is a new poem. I wrote the first draft of this on 9-3-2013 and just finished this draft a few minutes ago. I hope that you enjoy this emotional look at my imagined future.

Honey,
I haven't met you yet,
Yet I can almost see your
Radiant smile; joyous, knowing-
Beyond Piaget's confining years.
Can almost taste half-melted-
Ice creams at the craggy extremes
Of half-explored worlds,
Encapsulated in your eager eyes.

Darling, I can just imagine
Holding your tiny frame in
My nervous arms-
Cradling you like uranium.
Imagine taking your wispy hand
In my tenuous grip,
And standing with you
Aface a glaring cliff-
Embracing the eternal present,
Lest life un-twine your roots from mine...

And I know-
Summer roses and mud-caked knees
Will fade to cacophony-
And I know that love may
Leave you lost and alone,
But I will not desert you.
When the stars align-to-
 Deny you all things benign
I will be your guide.

Sweetheart,
I truly hope that I meet you;
Know that I already love you
More than coquettish life-that-
I will await you-with-
Open arms and an eddied, hopeful smile-
To make you laugh,
When you wish to cry,
To carry you when laid low by
The soles of beautiful-brutish being...

You will dance, when all others stumble.
You will fight when all others have cowered
And fled.
You will sing when the storms steal sonnets
And render the world silent.
You will be the light to lend sight to
The blind and the mad,
You will be my little girl-
And I your doting dad.
I can't wait to meet you.






***Copyright 2013. Cameron Morgan. All Rights Reserved.***





Monday, August 19, 2013

An American Romance

A new original poem, written on 8-19-13. There is a great back-story to this, inquire if you are interested-enjoy!!

An American Romance

What brought you here-
Mandarin-clad and manacled?
What tempest tossed your dreams
Like exhumed Earth on an open tomb?
Did you not gaze past the crowded bay
And see azurean eternity?
Why did your beam linger upon me
-Fervent, Unbroken-
And not stay with sinewy freedom?

Still, I could have taken your hand-
Saved you from the vacillating lover,
Laid you beneath lavender trees
Instead of tomes of law,
Should I have kissed your lips
Before he,
Sauntered, Should I have been around,
I know-love, you must believe-
That my caress, a balm and sweet reprieve,
Could have saved thee.

Wait, pray, wait for me in the doldrums;
Carve my name in symbols and strain to see
A lover who waits for you endlessly.





***Copyright 2013. All Rights Reserved. Richard Cameron Morgan***


Atlas-a new poem

A new, original poem that I just wrote. Thanks for reading!

Atlas,
But I do not shrug,
The strain burrows lash-deep-
Kinetic in crisis,
Yolked to a muted destiny-
Deaf to its designs;
I carry not the weight of anything,
Save lead thoughts-
Struggle not for the sins of anyone,
Save plaintive 
Nightingale-She's-
Silently mouthing dead words,
Stockholm; befriending the bony-cage
Casing my craggy heart.
I hear nothing as the world envelopes-
Splintered joints collapsing;
Spartan soul laid sepulcher bare.

Ages pass and hyacinth bones bleed to
Terra-firma-
Bare to the soles that endlessly stride over me,
I am watchful NOTHING to their promenades-
Persephone, bound by blind Gods,
But, I will no longer squirm and aerate for their pleasure,
Stoic in mindful suffering, I wait...





***Copyright 2013, All Rights Reserved, R. Cameron Morgan***

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Antigone (a new poem)

Here is an original poem that I just finished about the fictional Antigone (pronounced an-tig-o-knee). This is my love poem to her-as she would be quite the woman-if indeed real! Hope you enjoy!


Lovely Antigone,
Would you bury me
Should my bones rest far from thee?
Darling Antigone,
Will thy hands strike violently
The Gods who drone so ambly
In their sadistic eternity?
Can you quiet their cackling
Fire-tongue crackling erubescently?
Dearest Antigone,
You would run the sword of ignominy
Through your gaping belly
Solely for our simple monogamy.
I will savor your memory
Through the iridescent eyes of our progeny
And thank you for loving me.




***Original poem by Cameron Morgan. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2013.***

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Rapture

Friends,

This is another original poem that I just wrote a few seconds ago. Hope you enjoy!


How I mourn for you,
Million-year-dead smile,
How I pine,
Roots nuclear-severed,
How I mumble prayers-
Vacuum-ears long-deaf.
Won't you chance a show-
Glimmer a hopeful streak-
Shadow the whelmed light-
Crease the garish and gaunt-
With opal-looming digits?
Will you extend silvered-hope
To my entombed heart-
Scintillate to re-animate
All things ennui and inveigled?
Will you listen to the fevered scratches
Of my voice 'gainst the endless void...
And rejoin the living?






***All Rights Reserved. Copyright Cameron Morgan. 2013. ***

Thursday, June 20, 2013

A New Poem-dedicated to my grandparents

Friends,

This is an original poem that I wrote for my grandparents recently. This is simply a snap-shot of how they met and a brief picture of their serendipitous meeting and uncommon love. Hope you enjoy!

It was Nearly a Century ago
By: Cameron Morgan
First drafted: 5/27/2013
Last Edited: 6-20-2013
All Rights Reserved. Copyright R. Cameron Morgan. 2013.
It was nearly a century ago
Sweat-choked sun-rays bore down up-on Ford-worn streets,
You could walk miles up those staircase hills-
Climbing toward some stunning dream.
An engine of churning opportunity,
Store-room like a pre-war Airforce hangar -
Endless stereotyped rows of hollowed suits
And regimented, clean-cut servicemen-
Enlisted by the need for money or honor-
Ready to give their lives in the service of one phoenix day.


She could’ve been mistaken for a model,
A front page starlet bathed in the black and white-
Lights of creased magazines-
Stately, irrepressible, a beauty
With a future-fixed gaze.
She was scribing numbers and smiling
Like an impatient sun;
Burning too brightly for the gossamer shroud of night
To long smother, and so-
When nestled home in the more suburban streets of Salt Lake City,
She sang loudly through the tennored throat of violin-
Strumming summer strings like seasons had no end.
Her dream was the baritone prose of her father:
Steady hands still shading the contours of
Her pointilist verse,
A melody mellifluous in the rhythmic heart of time.
Yet another sun-stroked day,
Fire-heels striking anvil pavement:
Red glow and incandescent echoes.
She gently swung-open the long-rusted
Malt-shop door; old-flaky white and plaintive hinges
And touched gently-down…a malt; Old-style Vanilla Bean ice-cream.
The violent heat slowly strangling the sedentary fans,
But the soft chill of the confection
Consumed her with joy-
Lost as she was,
To the promise of its transitory eternity.


He didn't often trek up those labyrinthine streets,
But convention seemed silly in that shattering heat.
He was searching for something beyond the sun-soaked horizon
Respite from lectures and lingering worries long after hours-
Somewhere to rest his weary soles and paper- paste-dry tongue.
He spotted the malt-shop, sugar-hungry eyes straining
To see the strangely-sweet scented oasis;
Almost broke into a smile as he sauntered up the last steps-
Like training camp all over again;
His big-smiling, big-toothed friends, laughing sanguine-splashed- white
Teeth stained with strawberry malt and bough-picked cherries.
The door ululated in a joyful squeal
As the first soldier, a jock and a drunk, caught his eye.
Slumping like a tree felled by tempestuous wind
Into that dusty-hard backed chair,
A sound slap warmly greeting his sweaty back.
Awaking from that moment as if a dream,
Shaken to reality by glowing eyes and candied zephyrs:
He saw… her,
Phosphorescent smile like the ever-opalescent moon-
Overcoming the thin veil of opaque night.
He knew from that second that he had to know her,
Learn her name; share a solitary moment that would
Mean everything in its subtle transience.
He held her glance like a reticent hand,
For just a second before turning as if he hadn't.
Sipping his straw-strewn malt stronger now
To drown out the sound of her syllabic gaze.
Instead he turned, steady tremored heart trembling
With a smooth hello.
She was rightfully reticent; having known the Army-type:
Shiny boots, slicked hair and slicker souls-
So she kept her distance with an askance glance…
Still something told her to listen:
Strangely, when he asked for time to spend and a night to share
She accepted, assured by his honest handshake,
Unwavering, like the love that began 3 weeks later
With their fire-fly marriage-
Enduring 70 years with calloused hands
And un-exhaustible wells of understanding.
He took her eager hand to the alter
And wrote every day while swept away
By the undulating tides of war.
Every letter stained with pacific ink,
Like strawberry-malt-spotted teeth.
70 summers, 70 rapturous falls,
70 Winters too cold and too long-


And a love that has endured them all.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Senator Orrin Hatch's response to my letter on immigration reform

I recently wrote the Senator, urging him to vote 'yay' on the Comprehensive Immigration Bill before Congress. I argued that the bill is pro-growth, pro-family and would tighten border security-in tandem with the path to citizenship. I expressed how important it is to take the 11 million or so undocumented immigrants in this country out of the shadows and bring them in to the 'formal economy.' This will increase economic productivity, improve individual morale, strengthen families and neighborhoods and cut the deficit-according to the recent Congressional Budget Office Report: CBO report

The Senator's response (a staffer's response) suggests that the Senator will not vote for the legislation and is serving more as a stone-waller and a 'poison-pill' to the process. However, we should keep up the pressure by urging the Senator to vote 'yay' on this important bill. Here is the official response below:

Dear Mr. Morgan:
 
Thank you for taking the time to write with your views on S. 744, the Border Security, Economic Opportunity, and Immigration Modernization Act. I appreciate hearing from you.
 
As the longest serving Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee, I have worked for many years to improve our nation’s immigration system and increase security on our borders. In recent years, Congress has considered a number of immigration reform proposals that, in the end, would have given blanket amnesty to the millions of illegal immigrants currently residing in the U.S. Please know I have long opposed this approach. In fact, I voted against the Immigration Reform and Control Act of 1986
(P.L. 99–603, 100) also known as the Simpson-Mazzoli Act which expressly granted amnesty. Right now, I believe that we need concrete reforms to fix the loopholes in our current system rather than create new ones.
 
Of course, I am not opposed to individuals entering our country legally, and I recognize the opportunities this country offers to many. We are a nation of immigrants and we must not forget that our country is a melting pot. We are also a nation of laws, and those individuals patiently waiting to be granted American citizenship should not be put at a disadvantage because of those who came here illegally.
 
Since the introduction of S. 744, I have acknowledged repeatedly that, in order to secure my support for the underlying measure, improvements must be made. I am pleased that, during the Judiciary Committee’s consideration, we were able to do that by further strengthening border security and ensuring the United States can remain competitive in a global economy. In fact, I agree with what some have said, that doing nothing to address this serious issue is, in essence, de facto amnesty. Already, fourteen of my twenty-four amendments have been accepted to the bill.
 
However, I still believe this bill needs further improvement before I will lend my support for final passage. I have proposed four common-sense changes to the underlying bill which were not under the jurisdiction of the Judiciary Committee.
 
My amendments will improve the current legislation by:
 
• Ensuring that federal dollars cannot be used for purposes that were not contemplated under the 1996 federal welfare reform law;
 
• Clarifying the bill to ensure that immigrant applicants satisfy their lawful federal tax obligations resulting from any period of their U.S. residency;
 
• Applying a five-year waiting period for tax credits and cost-sharing subsidies under the health law for individuals going through the RPI and Blue Card pathway; and
 
• Prohibiting those not authorized to work in this country from claiming unauthorized earnings to gain eligibility from Social Security coverage.
 
As the Senate debates and amends S. 744 on the floor, you can rest assured I will keep your timely and thoughtful comments in mind. I welcome your continued input on issues of concern.
 
Your Senator,
 
 
 
 
 
Orrin G. Hatch
United States Senator
 

Sunday, May 5, 2013

A prayer to nature (new poem)


I just finished writing this after sitting on my balcony and appreciating a incandescent sun-set. This is a original poem that was written today! Hope you enjoy:

A prayer to nature

As I recline and ponder the vast unknowns of your beauty,
I wonder if I should.
Should I attempt to grasp the contours of your wonder
With my thick-clumsy words?
Must I notate your verse when scribbles would only injure
The immovable delicacy of your rythme?
I wonder if you’d love me, strong-artful evening
If you knew of my restless heart and lustful soul.
Would you weigh my distractions
Like Anubis currency on the scales of final judgement?

Sweet darling, wondrous-obtusity,
To which meadowy brook do your rivers flow?
To what craggy peak does your hope aspire-
Clouds carrying and condensing freedom?
I can only bask in the zephyr of your melodious night,
Breath deeply your sylvan scent and fragrant innocence
And remain a humble servant to the flattery of your endless mystery.

Amen.

Thanks for reading!! 



***Copyright 2013. Cameron Morgan. All Rights Reserved.***

Burning the Midnight Oil

Friends,

Here is a brand-new original poem of mine, last edited today (05-05-13).  Hope you enjoy this!

Burning the midnight oil


I saw the juvenescent moon rise over the slumbering city:
Residents ensconced in ignorant wool
Wheezed loudly in tenuous sleep;
Feeble hearts churning their buttered blood
Spittering and sputtering to make an advance.
Churlish station-wagons chortle artlessly as
Another promising dame impregnates her liver with
Stale gin and anodyne whispers spilling off old lips.
The sun hardly rises to greet the slaughter
As if afraid to reveal its own bloody hands holy
Children are soothed by sugary lies
Confections concocted to forget, feign
Another wearisome night-
To never regret the blasé baked cakes concocted
Of gluttony, the facetious hypodermics
That we rolled along our jetted veins-vicissitude-
To toss the memory of those dawns
Like salt in strangled tequila.
To finally live:
In one phoenix day.

Thanks for reading!!




***Copyright 2013. Cameron Morgan. All Rights Reserved.***

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Ramble, ramble...

Working now under the filtered gaze of dying sun-light, I wonder if anybody is yearning as I yearn -at this exact moment. I ponder if my suffering-in this brief moment- moves a hair or rattles the bones of anyone. Does the churning of my insatiability affect even the movement of shadows that bathe me? Am I so secluded in this plaintive soul-searching that I cannot whisper any prose that will make my meaning known? Am I so cryptic, that my heart will beat forever beneath walls of plaster? Can you hear me now, my erratic song? Can you touch the gaudy hem of my visceral sorrow?  I am afraid not. I am sorry to say that I'll always love you from a distance, always scribble ill-conceived bromides in the guest book of your indifference, always plant the flowers that another hand will harvest. How do I speak to you, shadow, whisp, restless oasis, when ever I perish in ill-timed storms and sleep-statuesque- buried in sand? Restless bones cannot stroll with victors in Valhalla, cannot manage to swim soul-choked rivers, cannot light incense to Marlboro gods, soaked in the sweat of their kill.

I wish my words would choke in my throat so that I could speak louder through your lips. Honey, I wish that your gaze fluttered against the contours of my gaunt eyes, razor chin. I wish that you would read these words and understand; understand that I'll never really know you.




Wednesday, April 24, 2013

2 year anniversary of having MS

Friends,

On the 2 year anniversary of me being diagnosed with MS-I want to encourage you to donate to find a cure. You can do so by donating to my Walk MS Team-all proceeds go to the national multiple sclerosis society. http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?pg=team&fr_id=19513&team_id=333432

Also, check out a story I wrote about how I was initially diagnosed. I am lucky to still be feeling healthy and happy 2 years later. Thanks!


Friends/Family,

I suppose I just need an outlet tonight, a rambling forum, the active listening ear of the endless void that is facebook.

I have Mutliple Sclerosis and this is a story (not very interesting mind you, but a story nonetheless).

The prologue is simply a trip to the dentist and a deep cleaning. And then a trembling in my face. Nothing but a reaction to the numbing, I was sure, so typical of any such cleaning. The story starts out with a normal workday, albeit one that's starting a hour earlier than usual. I was feeling a little strange after a long night spent with friends. I attributed this to simple fatigue and lethargy  nothing a diet coke or pepsi couldn't cure. So, pulling into the unglamerous north parking lot of my work did not portend anything, but another work day. When I stopped the car I lost control of the muscles in my face. The right side of my face simply tightened up in a stroke-esque pose that lasted 1-2 minutes at maximum. I panicked as nothing like that had ever happened to me. I went home and rested thinking my body was simply out of wack. That night I went to an instacare clinic. I described the odd twitching  I told the Doctor that I called the dentist several times and the Dentist said nothing like that had ever happened before. The doctor was confounded. No flu symptoms, no pneumonia or drug use. He advised that I see a specialist. I thought this superfluous, but went anyway.

I had an EEG. The neurologist said it could be one of many things. Some worse than others. MS was casually referenced. I also had a glucose test at the Davis Hospital to see if it was some blood abnormality. I had 5 large vials of blood taken from me in 4 hours after fasting for 24 hours (a very difficult thing to do). Sometime during that time I broke down physically and emotionally and ended up in the ER for the day. My body was simply overtaxed. Nothing major came out of it. I learned that I have hypoglycemia-nothing I didn't know. Half my body went numb about every other day at varying times.

I did an MRI soon thereafter. Actually enjoyed it-a sci fy coffin of sorts. The news came while I was at work. I answered the call cheerfully and was not met by small talk or pleasantries  but by: 'You have Multiple Sclerosis'. No explanation, no post-pleasantries, just that and a 'we will talk soon'. I was in my office with another co-worker at the time. I felt like breaking down and did a bit. He noticed, but said nothing-the kindest thing he could do. I walked over to my then immediate supervisor to say that I am going home. I broke down in his office. He played it down. I cried through my half-smile as I walked away. 

My mom was in denial. Couldn't be that. probably a parasite or something else. something less. I agreed to do a 'Spinal Tap' procedure, i.e. a good-sized needle stuck repeatedly in my spine to collect spinal fluid. I have never been a fan of needles, so this was not a light choice. The procedure was agonizing. The Neurologist missed several times and the painkillers did not work. I thought I screamed, but they said I was their most quiet patient. I was in bed for 3 days. My friends rallied around me. My family was never closer. In an odd way, I was happy. Scared, but so happy that so many people loved and cared about me.  After 3 days, I started moving around again and went back to work. Smiling like nothing happened.

The diagnosis was confirmed and reconfirmed by another Doctor. Relapsing-Remitting Multiple Sclerosis (http://www.nationalmssociety.org/about-multiple-sclerosis/relapsing-ms/relapsing-remitting-ms-rrms/index.aspx)

This was a good prognosis-better than the progressive sub-set, worse than nothing at all. I have white spots on my brain, legions if you will, where my own immune system has attacked the fatty covering of my neurons (mylein sheath). This slows down and otherwise screws up neuronal signals more or less [there is much more to this]. The white spots are a result of the lack of myelin in those areas. Basically, there are many treatments and precautions (keeping active, avoiding too much caffine and drinks, no smoking, low fats, etc) and I won't always feel it. My hands get numb at times, sometimes they sting and my feet hurt. I'll get weird pains and fatigue most often. But the treatments have helped.

I use Copaxone, which I inject daily into different spots of my body. I am mostly use to this, but am so sick of feeling like a science experiment. It typically hurts to inject and leaves bruises and welts. Some days I don't notice it, but I think my body is not happy with daily shots. I call it 'shooting up' and that usually makes me laugh. I never thought I'd be a veritable drug addict haha

This is simply a snapshot of it all, but yeah it is both scary and increasingly familiar. Most likely, nothing much will ever happen to me. I might lose feeling in a hand or a foot at some point, akin to a 'sleeping foot' but more permanent. Perhaps, nothing will happen, perhaps more. It depends on the treatment. It works nearly 100% of the time for 78% of people that take it. If it fails, there are other options. 

The issue of who to tell and how to tell is tricky. That is why i'd rather just announce it. At first, I felt like I had a secret to keep. That my friends would turn against me, that I'd never date again. I was always optimistic about it, but not so much about how people would react. I quickly realized that for my friends and family it didn't really matter. I will never forget the love and concern shown to me during the trying days of the late april/may months when i was diagnosed. I am heartened by the love around me.

Today, I am optimistic about the course of the disorder and sick of the injections. Life is about the same, besides the price ($100 a month, $3,000 without insurance-thanks insurance) and the injections. Nothing, least of all MS, will stand in the way of my goals or of my life in general. Life is what I make it, and it is beautiful.

I am not afraid, but I am aware.

Thanks for reading. 

Best,

Cameron

ps: forgive my spelling and word salad style.